An open letter to all the creeps and pedophiles out there

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Dear Creeps and Pedophiles,

You know who you are. You are the people out there who just arrived at my blog by searching for “how to get my girlfriend to shit on my face”. Or (the worst and most disturbing one I have ever seen), “kids fuck in the ass”. You disgust me. And although I know by typing those key phrases into this post, may draw you to my blog even more, I hope you read this and never come back again. 

Ok, I know I am naive and innocent of the ways of the sick and twisted world out there. When I created this blog, and choose the name “Poop On My Hands”, it was sarcastic symbolism of all the crap us parents go through in parenting on a day to day basis. It has nothing to do with any sort of kinky fantasy you may have about someone shitting on you. Nor does it have anything to do with a woman farting in your mouth.

And to all you pedophiles out there. Stay the fuck away from my blog. If you come to my blog, I hope you hit the back button, to your search results as quickly as I hope you dick falls off someday. How dare you wake up every morning and ever think you can click a link to my blog. You are sick in the head and need serious counselling. I pray you never violate a child and act out on your mentally disturbed fantasies. And I hope you never find what you are looking for on the web and are left with the worst blue balls you have ever experienced in your life.

I blog anonymously. Quite frankly, when I see what led some people to my blog, I am so thankful I blog anonymously. I never thought in a million years, I would see the key terms people have used to come to my blog. Some days, I squint my eyes just so I can only see the stats table, vs read any key phrases that were used to get to my blog. It saddens me, makes me want to vomit in my mouth, and hurts my soul to know there are sickos out there. Some days I want to close my blog and never type another word.

But as of today, I am going to keep trucking on and blog my heart out. However, I will continue to be careful of what I say, never discussing any facts of my kids that could be used in a perverted manner. However, the next thing you know, some pervert will find my blog by searching for “girl pooping in backyard flowers”. Or some misconstrued meaning from “daughter has tantrum”.

Not Yours Truly,
Delia Fairchild