An open letter to all the creeps and pedophiles out there

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Dear Creeps and Pedophiles,

You know who you are. You are the people out there who just arrived at my blog by searching for “how to get my girlfriend to shit on my face”. Or (the worst and most disturbing one I have ever seen), “kids fuck in the ass”. You disgust me. And although I know by typing those key phrases into this post, may draw you to my blog even more, I hope you read this and never come back again. 

Ok, I know I am naive and innocent of the ways of the sick and twisted world out there. When I created this blog, and choose the name “Poop On My Hands”, it was sarcastic symbolism of all the crap us parents go through in parenting on a day to day basis. It has nothing to do with any sort of kinky fantasy you may have about someone shitting on you. Nor does it have anything to do with a woman farting in your mouth.

And to all you pedophiles out there. Stay the fuck away from my blog. If you come to my blog, I hope you hit the back button, to your search results as quickly as I hope you dick falls off someday. How dare you wake up every morning and ever think you can click a link to my blog. You are sick in the head and need serious counselling. I pray you never violate a child and act out on your mentally disturbed fantasies. And I hope you never find what you are looking for on the web and are left with the worst blue balls you have ever experienced in your life.

I blog anonymously. Quite frankly, when I see what led some people to my blog, I am so thankful I blog anonymously. I never thought in a million years, I would see the key terms people have used to come to my blog. Some days, I squint my eyes just so I can only see the stats table, vs read any key phrases that were used to get to my blog. It saddens me, makes me want to vomit in my mouth, and hurts my soul to know there are sickos out there. Some days I want to close my blog and never type another word.

But as of today, I am going to keep trucking on and blog my heart out. However, I will continue to be careful of what I say, never discussing any facts of my kids that could be used in a perverted manner. However, the next thing you know, some pervert will find my blog by searching for “girl pooping in backyard flowers”. Or some misconstrued meaning from “daughter has tantrum”.

Not Yours Truly,
Delia Fairchild


9 thoughts on “An open letter to all the creeps and pedophiles out there

  1. I ignore the pervs unless it’s really funny. Every week I post a Best and Most Disturbing Search Engine Terms section in my weekly wrap-up post. This week’s favorite of mine was “Someone broke into my house and didn’t steal anything just peed on the front of my pants”. WHY WOULD SOMEONE GOOGLE THAT??? So it’s funny.

    I figure there’s not a lot we can do about the pervs, but there is certainly plenty that we can have fun with (says the person writing the blog that is the #1 hit for people looking for a certain NASCAR Crew Chief’s genitalia).

    But I totally get what you mean, it IS disturbing. Stuff like that doesn’t really bother me on my blog, but I did have a guy get on my Facebook page and ask for pictures of women’s feet. That freaked me out.

    • I love that you do this. I like how you bring humor to the creeps out there. Maybe I could borrow your idea and bring humor to the crazy. I get really upset at the more disturbing key phrases that have to do with children. Luckily it isn’t every day that I see them, but it feels like at least once a week.

  2. There are a lot of people in this world that are absolutely disgusting, and it is an unfortunate circumstance that your blog title has led these people to your site. It is disappointing that we live in a world where this happens so often that we have to think about everything we do in terms of “what would a creeper do with this?” I planned a tattoo when my daughter was born, using her newborn footprints and was originally going to incorporate her first name and birth date into it…but then had to rethink it because of the creepers out there that would potentially be able to find her with just that little bit of information. Now, when I do get it done, it will be just her footprints. Anonymous to the world, but still just as special to me.

    I feel confident saying that, as a mom, I didn’t think anything beyond “Yeah, that’s happened to me before” when it comes to your title. I am also confident in speaking for other moms out there, that we as your intended audience didn’t give the “Poop On My Hands” title a second thought beyond that. Keep on blogging, keep it anonymous to protect your kids and your family, and ignore the creepy keyword path statistics.

    • Thanks Michelle. It is good to know that at least the community that I speak to, understands my blog name. I get super sensitive when I see key search terms that address children. My sister was abused by a family member and I am super ubber sensitive about my children and potential creepers.

  3. I’m sorry too! My blog leads a lot of those sickos to it too. I guess people like pictures of people faking or fuking. Or faking fuking. Disgusting. I often get kids and housewives mixed in with the words too. Gross!

  4. ooh, that’ so creepy. I suddenly feel really grateful that my bog only attracted people with “big butt mama” fetishes due to my “Mommy’s Big Butt” post…

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