I will start this post by giving you the definition of what a “mother” is, from the words of my 6 year old daughter.
“A mother is someone who is rude and mean to her kids.”
“A mom/mommy is someone who is loving and sweet to her kids.”
And when she calls me “mother”, you know why. I wear that title with pride, as most likely if I am called a “mother”, it means I am doing my job. I can’t be a “mommy” 100% of the time, even though I wish I could.
With that said, Mother’s Day is coming. And quite frankly, I just want to be left the fuck alone on Mother’s Day. Think of it… All day by myself. Quite household. No screaming. Nobody making the kitchen dirty. No in-laws wanting to spend time together. No babies needing changing. Just me, my house, my couch, maybe some sparkly vampires, in all their hotness, on the old boob-tube, and a huge bowel of cereal with a wooden spoon in my hand.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. And I love my children. But why on earth does Mother’s Day mean needing to spend time with them? I see them every single day of my life. But for one day, could they honor me by getting out of my face and letting me have some peace and quiet?
When you are a mom of young children, with a mother of your own, Mother’s Day ends up being more work for you than ever. Not only do you need to spend time with your own mom (buy gifts, take her to lunch, etc), but you also need to partake in making your own kids feel like they are addressed on this special day. For example, my tradition with my daughter and my mom is to all get pedicures. Oh, so sweet, right? 3 generations of women in the family all sitting there getting our nails done. Then it is time to pay. You, as the middle woman in the family, get to pay for all of them. Obviously your 6 year old isn’t going to pay for your pedicure, and your own mother isn’t going to pay for your pedicure. And you would look like a schmuck if you didn’t pay for your mom’s pedicure. So there you have it, Mother’s Day and you get to fork out $50 to be honored and honor them in return.
This year I decided to host a Mother’s Day Eve brunch. I figured I would invite the moms, nana, aunts, sisters, and sister-in-laws over to my house for a “kid free” brunch in my backyard. This way, I could see all the moms from all sides of the family in one swoop the day before Mother’s Day. Then it would free up my Sunday to just do my own thing. Great idea in concept. However, it backfired. My father-in-law and his wife decided they didn’t want to come into town on Saturday, but wanted to come on Sunday. And of course during the 3 times a year they decide to come into town for all of 8 hours during the day, they want to see the grand kids. So there goes my Sunday Mother’s Day. Not only do I get to pay for 3 pedicures, I also get to spend time with my father-in-law and his wife so they can have an hour of quality time with their grand kids.
So after all this, I decided that Sunday would not be my Mother’s Day. Sunday would be the day that I let go to the family obligations. I would give thanks to my mom and continue the pedicure tradition. But I would give myself my own Mother’s Day.
Friday is now my Mother’s Day. Friday, the kids will be in school and daycare and I have taken a vacation day off of work. And on Friday, after the kids are gone and the hubby is at work, the house will be all mine. I am going to be all alone and it will be wonderful! I am not going clean the house. I am not going to go grocery shopping. I am not going to pay bills. I am actually going to garden and plant some flowers. Then I am going to go shopping for some new clothes. I can’t wait!!!! My Mother’s Day all to myself is going to officially start in 48 hours!
To end this post, I just want to state for the record, that I love my mom with all my heart. And even though I bitch and complain about the lack of “me-time”, I do really enjoy spending time with her on Mother’s Day. I feel very fortunate to have her live in the same town as myself where we can do things like pedicures on Mother’s Day. And hopefully someday when my daughter is my age and has a daughter of her own, she won’t think of me as “mother”, but more of her “mom”.