I have seen a lot of wonderful posts regarding lessons parents will teach their sons and daughters. One which was especially touching regarding a father’s message to his daughter. So I felt inspired, I thought I would write my own.
10 important lessons I will teach my son.
- Once you are of age where you can fold a dish towel, you will begin to fold your own laundry. Men should always know how to properly wash, fold, and most importantly put away their own laundry. Depending on a woman to do this for you, is never a smart idea. First, because you may be single for quite some time, and no woman likes a man to be wearing stinky clothes. And second, if you can wash, fold, and put away your own laundry, while in a relationship, it will defiantly contribute to a lasting marriage or partnership.
- You will keep your room clean, regardless of if you decide to let me enter your room as a teenager or not. (My mother-in-law felt her kids could keep their rooms as messy or clean as they liked, since it was their own personal space. This is why my husband could give a shit if he lives in a dump or not… which then leads to all the cleaning on me. Totally backfired, MIL! You raised a man who is comfortable living in filth.)Keeping a clean bedroom provides many life lessons. How to become a clean and tidy person, have respect for your belongings, and most importantly, how to keep a house clean when you become an adult. If there is a foul smell coming from your room, you need to rethink your approach.
- Speaking of cleaning your room…. Once you hit puberty, you will be required to change your own sheets once a week. I will not change your sheets for you. However I will teach you how to wash your sheets in hot water, to remove any “bodily fluids” and properly remake your bed. And you feel the need to “explore”, I would appreciate you locking the bathroom door, and just taking a long shower. Let’s leave it at that.
- On the subject of personal hygiene. It is always important to wash your balls. It is as important as a child, as it is as an adult. Believe me, no woman enjoys sweaty stinky balls. Taking a shower before you head to bed is a great way to keeping a clean bed throughout the week.
- Don’t be surprised if you find a box of condoms in your stocking from Santa. There is no excuse for you to bring home a pregnant girlfriend as a teenager. I don’t care how many forms of chemical birth control she claims to be on. You wrap and double wrap, and then wrap it again. Plus herpes is for life, and a total turn off for all future partners.
- Someday you will grow into a man, with a household of your own. It would be nice if you knew simple home repairs, but isn’t necessary. What is important is that you give a shit enough to at least know how to pick up a phone and call someone who does know how to fix things. Don’t freeze to death because you are too lazy to get the heater fixed. Or resort to putting a bucket under a leaky roof. Get that shit fixed!
- Be nice to your sister. I know there will be times where you want to rip each other apart. You will want to slam doors in each others faces, or tease each other to no end. But learning to respect and care for each other is a lesson your will take with you forever. She is your sister and your partner in life when it comes to taking care of your dad and I when we are old and crippled. Or support each other as kids, when your dad and I are arguing about what punishment you kids will get for misbehaving. She can also help teach you about girls and how to treat women. She can be your coach on dating and love… since I am sure you will think I am way lame in that department and have forgotten everything there is to know about being a teenager at one point in my life.
- I will teach you how to cook a meal that is not just Kraft Mac and Cheese. Knowing your way around a grill is fabulous. But what is really a turn on for your girlfriend or wife, is if you can cook her a three course meal every so often. And that includes shopping for ingredients, and cleaning up afterwards. Very sexy!
- I would love for you to go to college, but will not force you. If you for some reason you decide you don’t want to attend, please develop a skill set where you can make enough money to live comfortably. And if you do go to college, please choose a major where you can get a job afterwards in your line of study. Majoring in underwater basket weaving is a fabulous hobby, but can you contribute enough money to at minimum pay for half your family’s bills? We live in a modern age now. No one expects you to be responsible for supporting your entire family while your wife stays at home with the kids. If you and your wife choose that path, that is fabulous, but it isn’t for everyone. You should at least be able to pay for half.
- And lastly…. If you decide at any point in your life, childhood, teen years, or as an adult, that you are gay or bisexual, I will love and support your decision till my dying day. I will stand up for you and stand by you in every way I possibly can. I will walk in parades with my rainbow flag flying and I will treat any partner you bring home with respect and love. You are my son and I love you no matter what. As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, I want you to follow your life’s path to what makes you happy, healthy, and proud to walk down this path called life.